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Long ago, in the distant past, I, Ahmad, shapeshifting master of terrorism, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish american warrior, wielding a magic nail stepped forth to oppose me.
His name was Shitman. Shitman the Barbarian.
He was born in 1982 in the sewers of New York City, to an unholy union between a woman and a man. His life was a constant struggle, clinging to each piece of shit as the best source of food he could find, for little more was there in the sewers that he could eat. Until he discovered that he could make a living reaching into toilets and ripping people apart, and that would... somehow give him food... I DON'T KNOW, MAN! DON'T ASK ME TO UNDERSTAND AN AMERICAN!
But one day, Shitman encountered an unfamiliar ass seated upon a public toilet. It was hairy and dark, and because the infidel Shitman could tell ethnicities by the color of their arses, he determined that it was an Arab. And so he tore him apart.
Little did Shitman know, until the police arrived at his door that afternoon, that this Arab was a terrorist. And so Shitman became a national hero.
I could not stand my brave soldier defeated so, so I flung Shitman into the press, where questions abound about his previous life. Soon, they discovered his crimes, and shipped him off to jail. The fool seeks to return to freedom, and rip apart my arse.
His name was Shitman. Shitman the Barbarian.
He was born in 1982 in the sewers of New York City, to an unholy union between a woman and a man. His life was a constant struggle, clinging to each piece of shit as the best source of food he could find, for little more was there in the sewers that he could eat. Until he discovered that he could make a living reaching into toilets and ripping people apart, and that would... somehow give him food... I DON'T KNOW, MAN! DON'T ASK ME TO UNDERSTAND AN AMERICAN!
But one day, Shitman encountered an unfamiliar ass seated upon a public toilet. It was hairy and dark, and because the infidel Shitman could tell ethnicities by the color of their arses, he determined that it was an Arab. And so he tore him apart.
Little did Shitman know, until the police arrived at his door that afternoon, that this Arab was a terrorist. And so Shitman became a national hero.
I could not stand my brave soldier defeated so, so I flung Shitman into the press, where questions abound about his previous life. Soon, they discovered his crimes, and shipped him off to jail. The fool seeks to return to freedom, and rip apart my arse.
